I went home alone on New Year's Eve and it was AWESOME!!!

 Happy New Year's everyone!! There was only one way to ring in 2010 in our group and that was on a Party Bus.  It was a crazy night.  I made my special punch which has now been named Knock Me On My Ass, Sweet Jenny, which is very appropriate considering that's usually what happens to people when they drink more than one of them.  There was all kinds of dancing on this party bus. There was pole dancing, booty dancing, and lap dancing.  Boy was there some lap dancing going on.  Girls, when you're going to give your boyfriend a lap dance, you might want to make sure that you're not giving everyone on the bus a shot of your hoohah.  Anyway, people were shaking it all up and down the aisle of that bus.  Dancing wasn't the only thing that happened.  What follows is a list of the Top 5 most awesome things that happened on New Year's Eve.

#5)  At the beginning of the night the bus driver gave us two rules to follow.  The first rule was Do Not Shit In The On-Bus Toilet.  Fair enough.  Nobody wants to smell that all night.  It wasn't like the bus was that big.  The second rule is the one I want to focus on.  If you puke on the bus you have to pay a $50.00 fine.  So, it was pretty well understood by all of us that we would not be puking on the bus.  Unfortunately, the DJ didn't get that memo.  I mean what kind of DJ for a party bus doesn't know how to hold his liquor?  Also, who gets so wasted that they pass out before midnight?  Yes, folks, that's what happened on our party bus.  Our DJ got so drunk that he puked on himself and passed out on top of his sound board.  Luckily we got a new DJ and the old one got hauled off like an old Christmas tree.  How was this awesome?  Well, if that DJ hadn't passed out and had to be replaced, we wouldn't have gotten the new one.  And the new one played my most favorite song at the end of the night.

#4)  First of all there is only one thing more awesome than having stripper poles on the bus that is driving you around all night.  And that is having friends that for a brief moment in time are channeling actual strippers and and who show that pole who is boss.  I'd like to give a shout out to both Ashley and Katiya and their amazing moves on the pole.  Ashley, or should I say Smashley, even took a running start in order to do the upside down twirl down the stripper pole.  The next day Ashley woke up with giant purple bruises on the insides of her feet.  She really paid for the show she gave.

#3)  There is a bathroom on the bus.  It is disgusting and the last thing I would ever want to use.  But, when you've had four drinks like I had and the bus is en-route to the next location, sometimes you just gotta go.  So, I went into the bathroom where I spent five minutes trying to lock the door, but seeing as how I was completely hammered at this point, gave up and crossed my fingers that no one would walk in on me.  Bad move, Jennifer.  I guess I should have done a little more than cross my fingers because right when I was standing up to leave, Dan Graves flings the door open and smacks it right into my forehead.  Ouch!!  It hurt like a mother f*%@er.  (P.S. I can't bring myself to say the f-word on here anymore because I know my Aunt is reading it.  Hey Aunt Patty.)  Anyway, luckily Mr. Graves didn't see anything that he wasn't supposed to.  I, on the other hand, wasn't as lucky.  I had a bruise/knot on my the side of my forehead that is not covered by my bangs.  I'm not going to lie, 2 weeks later it's still a little tender to the touch.  How was this one of the top 5 awesome things that happened of the night?  Well a) I got tons of sympathy hugs and boo boo kisses all night and b) hello, I had a "scar" to show from my action on the bus.  Holla!!!

(See, I'm not even mad at him!!)

#2)  Keg Stands!!!  Hello, my name is Jennifer and I admit it, I love keg stands.  Now here is what you have to understand about me.  In college I was good.  I didn't drink that much, I was the permanent designated driver, and I never, ever did keg stands.  That is until about 3 years ago at the Garrison's house warming party.  I did my first keg stand and since then have never looked back.  I love them.  I think every party should have them.  It doesn't matter that I and my friends are all heading into our 30's.  Keg stands are the bomb and they happened on the party bus.

#1)  The last and best thing that happened on New Year's Eve involved me and the bus.  That is, I got to ride the bus home, with noone else on it but me, the bus driver, and the DJ.  I took full advantage.  I had the DJ play all of my favorite dance songs and I gave all three of those stripper poles the ride of their inanimate lives.  Luckily for all of my readers, I recorded it on video.  I sent 2009 out with a bang and leave you with it now.